James Jayhorn

A Tea Party, Militia, Hot Dog Vender


Lotsa guns


James Jayhorn is an obese, gun totin’, paranoid patriot. He sells hot dogs in downtown Spokane, and works the gun shop for awesome discounts. James is a devoted member of his church as well as his local tea party group. His wife left him on the day Obama was elected, and took his beloved daughter, America, with her. A year later his daughter was kidnapped and is still missing. James is still searching for her in his spare time.

He is easily manipulated, and highly irritable. Going into the deep dark basement is a must, because…well he’s an American god damn it! He once blew up an Acorn station, but no one was inside. He always exercises his second amendment right to carry arms, and hot dogs. He’s pretty much a highly armed version Ignatius Reilly from Confederacy of Dunces who also loves America.

James Jayhorn

The Fine Line Lumpskin